Sounds like you're doing good. I do think you're going to have ups and downs, but generally things get better and better gradually. I still find myself happier as time goes on, a little more every week, and surprised b/c I didn't think I was unhappy, but definitely stressed and less calm and peace in my life than I have now.
I think I miss my X (not the one of the past 3 years) but who he was before that. I miss my kids being here everyday. I do miss just the closeness with someone that I don't have now so some of my missing X is who he represents not who he really is. But don't want to be in an R with someone unhealthy, so I'm ok with that. I think I have a lot of the same feelings as you, but in some way maybe your sitch is tougher b/c your X acts friendly. Would be harder to distance, but still think something you have to do.
