I'm doing a lot of good thinking here tonight. I've cried a bit. I've been angry quite a bit, but I feel like I am at least processing the situation now.
The situation is dire.
I have switched from wondering if I can ever forgive my wife for leaving me and "dating" someone, to not caring anymore if I can.
I just honestly don't know if I can ever be with her again after this. I've gone from wanting to save my marriage to wanting to just get away from the hurt and the lies and horribleness of how emotionally draining this woman is on me.
I have 0 trust for her. I don't even know where SHE would have to begin to rebuild that trust, and, quite honestly, I don't think she has it in her to even try.
The fact remains, separations lead to divorce more often that not. Way more often that not, and couple that with a separation including dating and cheating...
Well...
Yeah.
Time for me to mosey on outta this.
The best part out of all of this, btw... Is that I was genuinely starting to feel like she was starting to come around and warm up to me again for real, and then this.
It's so ironic that after 5 months of trying to get her to pay attention to me again, as soon as she does, I find something out that causes me to tell her it's over.
Like I said man I know how you feel. I don't know why they do it. there's no logic to their behaviour.
I've been racking my brain on that for the past 3 months.
no one can decide for you when you're ready to give up. Just make sure that's what you really want to do.....
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
I have decided that while leaving me and cheating on me were your decisions, it is your responsibility to take care of the divorce.
I talked to HR here today about health insurance. Due to your current lifestyle choices I am very uncomfortable keeping you on my insurance plan.
My only options as far as removing you from my policy is to either have a finalized divorce, or for you to get your own health care plan on your own.
Due to the fact that a finalized divorce is still, legally, some time off, would you be able to get your own health care?
Let me know, please."
Got this response a few hours later...
"Just take me off your plan."
Then this 10min after the first reply...
"no, I can't afford my own.
But I will tear up the ins card so I never use it.
I never planned on using it anyway.
I'm ordering the divorse papers tomorrow. My hairdresser said that she lied about the seperation length so she could get the process moving faster. I am going to do the same."
LOL! Putting it in writing she plans to lie in a legal document. Nice!
Ignore her dramatics. I would e-mail her back and let her know if she chooses to rip up the insurance card that is fine but it does not solve the issue of her being listed on your insurance and you having to pay for it. I would ask her to contribute to the amount that is taken from your check to cover her until the divorce is final or let her know she has one week to get her own plan.
Also, I found it funny that she claimed she never planned to use the insurance, but I got a bill in the mail last week about her using it for a dermatologist visit.
I already gave her the bill, and I dont think I can just cancel the insurance... Can I? The HR people ehre didnt say anything about that.
Here is the reply I typed up... Yay or nay?
"Let me know what we have to do as far as getting them signed. I'm not sure how that works, but I would prefer to not see you when we do that.
Maybe you can mail them to me and I can get my signature notarized on my own, and I can send them back and you can do the same.
Ripping up the card is all well and good, but I am still paying for you to be on my plan. Depending on how long until the divorce is final I would like for you to pay for your half of my monthly payment for the insurance.
Let me know how long it will take though, if its only another month or whatever then fine.
Also, just an fyi, probably not a good idea to admit to lying about legal documents in writing."
Btw, I know that last sentence is a cheap shot
I'll probably take that out, but it felt good to type.
Don't you have an attny? If so provide her with the name and address of your attny so the papers go there. If you don't have an atty get one.
I would say something like this:
W: The contact information for my legal counsel is <insert info here>. Any documents pertaining to the divorce should be sent directly to him/her.
If you choose to rip up the insurance card that is your choice however it does not remove you from my plan. Your options are as follows: obtain your own health insurance plan in the next 10 business days so I can remove you from mine as per company policy OR contribute to the monthly payment until the divorce is finalized. Which do you prefer?
And, I see no problem in letting her know your legal counsel is already aware of the actual date of separation.
