As I think about it, today was a good example of how my husband and I have learned to get along. For years, I resented being the Cinderella in my house, the one who cleaned up after everyone else. This was my big complaint when we went to Retrouvaille and they asked us to talk about how we felt during our times of trouble. My husband is still the same man who for 28 years was content to have me pick up and clean up after him. But he has made some changes. For example, he brought home the roses, $9.99 at the grocery store and gave them to me with a kiss. I cleaned the kitchen in the middle of the day, then went out shopping. He cooked dinner- barbecued steak, boiled corn and a salad. While we ate, I told him how much I enjoy his barbecue and commented on the unusual choice of ingredients in the salad. After dinner, I went to read threads on the internet, and I heard him cleaning up in the kitchen (that's odd). After a few minutes, he came into the study and said, "I know some people can clean a kitchen better than I did, but I cleaned up some". And I said, "Thanks, I appreciate that." Now, the kitchen is still messy after his efforts. But I acknowledge what he does and thank him for it. And I appreciate getting the flowers. I don't mind cleaning up after him because: a. he acknowledged that he was leaving work for me; and b. he put forth a little effort; and c. he remembered that I like flowers and brought them for me.
This is how a good marriage functions. We acknowledge each others' efforts and recognize them, saying thank you. We have learned to act this way with each other rather than nit-pick and criticize and it has made for a much happier marriage.
