They, like us, probably have some days that are better than others. Your H was probably on a good day because you actually let him come back to do yard work. This is more than you've given him in a while and he even got D to talk with him. He may be thinking that he has assurance that you're still where he left you. It may have been a form of cake eating for him.
It's script for them to believe that once they leave us that they are no longer M'd, and what they're doing is not classified as cheating or an affair. My H, not long after he left, told me that he never cheated on me during our M. He felt it was not cheating because we were no longer together. He acted like I should give him a medal for that. I didn't bother pointing out to him that we're still M.
All we can do is detach further and try not to get sucked in. I know how hard that is to do. Pick yourself up, dust off and continue to move forward. We WILL get through this my friend!
