Cause for alarm?

[OfficerInNeed]

while w was in bath she txt messaged female co-worker and deleted the messages from phone.

W had grabbed my phone from night stand, I had a txt message I did not want her to see...I was trying to plan a gathering for tomorrow to go on a boat ride and did not want her to see the plans just yet, so I took the phone back and deleted the message. This sparked an attitude from her to me, as I tried to explain all I would get is "whatever it does not matter anyway" "I'm done, its fine, it does not matter"

I then was able to explain to W what was going on and let her read previous txt messages about the plans so she knew I was doing nothing malicious.

W watched TV together and and looked at some old pictures.
I asked W if she heard from FIL and she had just received a txt from him. I said to W "I don't know what it is if anything but I txt ur father often about updates on GF and he never responds. He use to send me updates but does not anymore" W just played dumb and said "maybe he assumes I will give u the update."

I asked W if I could see her phone, she gave a little fit and handed it over...I said "You delete your messages often, you did not do that before" W said "If I want to delete messages I will delete them" I said "I know, and I am not saying you can't or should not but would you have a problem with not deleting them?" W asked "Why"I said "Well I don't delete mine and are free to see" W said "That's fine, delete them if you want I am not going to govern your text messages" Then she gave me a pissy attitude about how I asked that question...

When ever my W does something it is fine, but if I do it then I am being a jerk or hiding something. Although my intentions are good I am getting caught up in this mess and I look like the bad guy as if I am the one being dishonest which gives her the fuel she needs to continue doing what she does