Thanks, NM, and good point about how I can keep the convo light. I did forget about that.
Fortunately, I didn't need to use it.
+ He texted instead of called to say he was here. I called to direct him in. (He texted at exactly 8:00.) + When I stepped outside, I saw he was already there. In spite of ourselves, we both smiled. (I think he smiled first.) It really was in spite of myself, and it was also very natural. That was our only smiles, though. + FORTUNATELY a male neighbor I had talked with earlier today was outside, and he nodded and smiled at me. + I let WH in and showed him all the baby stuff. + I asked him to help me with an IPod thing and he took care of it in 5 seconds. + I tried to get her to move. She did, but she didn't stick out her foot. He didn't feel anything. (It was kind of awkward, you know, to touch my stomach.) + He walked around the apartment and studied everything. + He asked about my family, my job, what I do in my spare time, etc etc. + I asked a bit about him. He said he's cooking. He also said he's trying to establish a routine, but it's really hard. + He showed me a picture of what he cooked that he took on his iphone. It looked nice, and I pointed out that it had olives which he loves and cilantro which I love. + He said he could try to install the carseat. It ended up taking probably 35 minutes. He was rather frustrated. I was apologetic. Then I realized I was apologetic and I switched to just being appreciative. I specifically said "I really really appreciate this; I could have never done it myself."
(I'm watching the SNL thing and a slim Horatio Sanz is SO HOT!)
+ I didn't want to end with such frustration, so I asked if he wanted frigerated club soda. He said no. I asked if he was sure and he said okay. So I ran in and got him some. I'm very glad I was able to do that. I know it's something he wanted.
So then it was kind of awkward and we said bye.
Oh, I forgot that he said he liked my apartment so much, he wished we would have moved here instead of to the place we did.
Bad stuff:
+ He didn't appear too interested in the baby. Asked nothing about her. + He cried a couple of times. (I don't know if this is bad, but it's not good.) + The carseat was pretty frustrating and probably reinforced his whole "I can't do this" feeling
Good stuff:
+ He was VERY curious about me. Just straight-up. + He expressed appreciation for the items I left him when I moved. I left him things that I knew he cherished. He said that at first he was very angry at me for taking so much. But he said that later he realized that I actually left him a lot (this is one time he started crying) and he was really grateful that I did. + He was successful with the IPod and the carseat,which helped me, and I was appreciative, so I hope that it was worth it. + He DIDN'T say anything bad, which I was really worried about.
Oh yeah and he asked if I had made any friends with my neighbors. I talked about a pregnant gal that I'm going to hang out with. I wonder if he was talking about that guy who nodded at me. We actually saw him twice, so. . .
Overall, I have peace. I am worried about his fatherhood still. He didn't embrace that as much as I hoped he would.
