He is the type of person that doesn't like being told what to do or given an untimatium - he will do the exact opposite out of spite
Well then give him what he wants. Tell him YOU want a divorce and YOU do NOT want him anymore and to leave you alone...
If he doesn't like being told what to do and does the exact opposite out of spite, then it seems to me your game plan should be to tell him the exact opposite of what YOU want. Let him think you are telling him the exact opposite of what you want.
