Anned82, I am aware of the concept of enabling. My father was a raging alcoholic so the concept is not lost on me.
While apologizing for your role in the breakdown of the marriage is necessary it is also unnecessary to do so more than once. Addicts generally don't take kindly to requests for C'ing so I would not bring that up.
If you are that concerned why not gather your intel and approach his family/friends. Let them know what he has been up to and let them decide how to handle it. Honestly, your H won't take kindly to anything you do right now as he is staunch in his desire to divorce.
You have done lots of reaching over the past week or so. Wasn't it you that started multiple threads asking about having your H watch a DVD to contemplating spending 10K on a meeting with Michelle herself? Please pardon me if I am confusing you with another poster.
You haven't even taken the steps to protect yourself (move him out and change the bank accounts) so you can't begin to speculate what sort of effect that will have on him. Since you have enabled his behavior thus far you can't say for certain what will or will not happen when you stop.
What sort of recovery program will you be going to? When you have enabled an addict you are in need of specialized treatment just like the addict is in need of a special treatment program.
My thing is you haven't done any basic steps and all of a sudden you are jumping to having an intervention professional fly to you and plan this intervention. IMO there has to be something in between.
