H and I both have health problems, but our R is doing really good. I am at peace now and have not wondered back into thinking that I can be happier with somebody else (especially OM from the EA). I have learned what triggers fantasies in my mind and I am watchful about that. I use a lot of caution, like staying away from Internet games... and things of that nature. I have learned so much from the DB Board and I believe I will not be careless about my M or flirt with fire again.
My heart goes out to you b/c I can tell you are so unhappy.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!