Question

[SDFoundGirl]

I wasn't playing games, I was finding a way to be happy on my own. I faked it 'til I made it, and when H decided to reconcile, I really was on the brink of completely moving on. If he hadn't decided to recommit then, I'm not sure I would have agreed to reconcile later on.

Did I put it in his face? Darn right I did, and that was mostly out of my own anger with him. You see, he'd NEVER opened his mouth about anything, always told me everything was okay when I asked him if choices XYZ were okay with him, and SECRETLY it wasn't. When he dropped the bomb and seemed so certain we couldn't work it out (and we'd never tried to), it killed me. I'm thankful for it now, but I was ticked.

Add to that he was pursuing this woman who, though she didn't return his feelings, totally fed off of the attention. I'd found love letters he was composing to her gushing about his feelings. I saw him saying and doing things that were his courting style. So I decided that if he thought I might have my own life that included other men who found me attractive, GOOD.

I should add that we were also in MC this whole time. I basically shut up and listened to all his complaints for the first 3 months and helped correct some of the mind reading he'd been doing. It wasn't until later that I brought up my own issues...he wouldn't have been able to hear them.

We are still together and have a much better R that we're constantly working on. I bring up issues directly now instead of letting them fester, worried about how he'll react. H is doing a better job of speaking up too. We treat each other with respect, and we feel comfortable looking at each other and saying, hey, I need you to carry the load for a little while; I just can't do it.

SD