I do understand that my H is depressed. He refuses to take meds for it however he was occassionally going to C. But even with C he continued to still not really look at himself and continually put things off. I feel like I am just an issue for him that he will deal with when he gets around to it.
I pushed for and signed the D papers because I felt like I was painted in a corner and I needed get out. Right or wrong, I am willing to accept what happens. Since my H is an attorney, he volunteered to get the paperwork done. At this point, my H does not need to sign the documents since I am the plantiff. As far as I know, the documents are sitting on his desk ready to be filed if he chooses and he probably will because he is angry again. I have let him know very clearly that this is not what I want but he has left me no choice because always accepting everything on his terms was making me unhappy and leaving me unfulfilled. We at at an impasse and someone had to make a move. I knew it wasn't going to be him and I felt I only had one move I could make.
My H filed almost 3 years ago. He kept having the hearings continued until the court finally dismissed the D. He is doing the same thing with me, just "continuing" our relationship so he doesn't have to make a decision. I know MLC takes a long time but he can't "continue" our relationship forever. The court couldn't keep being put off and I have gotten to the point that I can't either. If I was the one having the MLC, there is absolutely no way my H would have given me 3 years to figure things out.
OP-The way I have left things, my H can choose to file the divorce papers or he can choose to do something about his depression. I believe he will take the easier route and file the papers. I am backing off for now and the decision is totally his.
snodderly-To me it seems like my H has been stuck in these final stages of his crisis. He has kept me close enough to know I am not going anywhere yet he doesn't really move any closer. If he does make a step closer, he quick steps back. I am sure in his mind that even if he does file the divorce papers, he has 6 months to figure this out before it it final. I would be fine if he could figure it out in 6 months however, I think he will be in the same place putting this off until the end with us divorcing even though it isn't what he wanted. It isn't what I want either but I have accepted that things are what they are. We spent 6 weeks apart at the beginning of the year and when we got back together, he said he was ready to move back. Obviously he stepped back from that. I can't help but think that if he knows that I am truly ready to move on, it might help him move forward in some way...even if it isn't with me. Am I delusional?
glam-I do feel like I cannot truly move on until we are divorced. And I'm not sure I will move on and shut that door completely until there is someone new in my life...and I won't be comfortable dating anyone while I am still married. It is funny because standing for your marriage does take a lot of character yet I feel like I am weak because I have stood for so long and put up with so much. I do not think my H sees me as weak, he knows that I love him and that is why I have been there for him. So are you still standing?
