Last night I ran in to a woman I had chatted with a few times ten years ago when out on the town with friends. Back then, her H had just moved out saying he 'needed space'.
We were catching up and she told me that after a couple months of 'space', nothing was happening between her and her H. He didn't talk about what was wrong, didn't want to go to MC, didn't know what he wanted, etc.
She didn't buy any marriage books, learn about MLC or join any internet support groups. She just expanded her social life, lost 20 pounds and filed for divorce.
They divorced, just seeing each other as needed to deal with their children. Eight months later, H said he had made a mistake and begged her to marry him again. She said she wasn't sure but agreed to date him again. She made him start from scratch, and deal with what had happened. After a year and a half, they remarried. Now they have been happily remarried for 6 years.
This woman is not particularly remarkable in her looks, or intelligence, but I found her clarity about her situation quite remarkable. 'He didn't want to make a marriage with me anymore', she said. "It didn't matter if he was in MLC or having an affair, it wasn't a marriage anymore. If I had waited for him instead of moving on with my life, I would have been full of resentment and it would have been harder to work things through."
