I'm trying...I really am. I'm filled with doubt and disillusionment. One moment, I remember how we fell in love all those years ago, and the next I think about how she's doing things now that I wouldn't have expected from her in a million years. I had such hope there were signs of softening and affection earlier in the year, only to be replaced by betrayal and hostility. I know this isn't my wife, my lover, and the mother of my child that I'm dealing with. It's a creature of fear, disillusionment, distrust, and pain. One moment I tell myself that I'll not help her in destroying my family and our M, and the next I tell myself that she's so far gone that she can't change and our M can't be saved. I didn't think I could hurt more than when she left. I was wrong.
