Lotus- Of course I remember you. You were there for me when I was at my worst point. Just remembering how we got through that should tell me we have come somewhat far. But, that's disaster mode. Almost easier to get through that than when nothing is there.
Retrouvaille did get us to a place of letting the past be in the past and forgiveness. It gave us hope after what we had been through. What it didn't do was give us something to understand how to get something we never had.
Heart following actions. This is what I held close to my heart and used as a silent mantra to get through it. But, it hasn't worked. Everything is "fake".
Knittedscarf- I'm not sure what we didn't do. I think that is what we are hoping upon all hopes that we figure out. I didn't act like a different person...the only pretending I did was pretend like our marriage was a good one. The counselor is trying to get my H to speak more about his feelings, including the bad ones. I have said I'm tired of the "fake H", and I want the real one...even if it is bad. I don't know if he is capable of doing this.
Sandi- Hi there, Friend. I was hoping things were getting better, too. How's your situation? OM is out of my heart. I do think of him, just like I think of any guy from my past, but no yearning. I do wonder about being happier with someone else...in fact, I do believe I would be happier with someone else....but the security, finances, and lack of time with my son would make me unhappy.
M 39 H 39 1 son, 7
Multiple affairs before/during/and after separation, came clean, went to Retrouvaille, forgave each other, Piecing for over a year, same problems exist, back to counseling
