Does not trust me, thinks I am lying to her, and is obsessed over the details of things that have gone wrong in our M. She is very resolute about starting the D when I get back.
Here is the CORRECT way to handle this.
"WAW, you are right. I agree that we should start D proceedings asap. It will never work. I realize that you don't trust me and can never trust me again. I have now realized that I don't trust you either. This is for the best."
You are like so many on here who think that by stalling the divorce that somehow it will make the WS forget about it. It actually works better to agree with the divorce. It is then interesting to see how THEY slow it down when you say you want to speed it up.
You are also not seeing the irony in this...
YOU didn't wake up until she wanted out. Don't you see that? Doesn't this give you insight to what works on people? The more she says she wants out, the more you want it. Think about that. Your answer is in what she did. Do what she did. Tell her that it is YOU now that wants out and that YOU agree that there is no trust and it can't be recovered. THAT is your answer. Hanging in there with a person you say is depressed doesn't work. You are enabling. Stop enabling. Show her that you are NOT interested in being with a depressed person that says they want out. Do not reward her behavior. AGREE with her. "yes, WS, you are right. I see that now. I think we need to move this forward asap. Let's get it done"
