Yep piecing is incredibly difficult for those reasons. That and the WAS is not "suddenly" done. It's a relearning and rebuilding process. They are not the same. They are in pain. They are more mature (with any luck?). You want it to be over. They want it to be over, but they have the addiction still. Still learning. But it can be done Mila, can you post some of those websites? That fascinates me and I'd like to read more.
Can I make a suggestion? Stop letting him know about your pain. You tell him it is easier for you if you don't see him. While that is true, perhaps it would be more mysterious if you just let him know no thank you and let him worry about the reasons? My thinking is that as long as you tell him you are still in pain, that keeps him away and feeling like he is in control. Why? Because who wants to come back to pain? Guilt? etc. Not that he doesn't deserve those things, but he isn't likely to face them for a long time. Next time he asks, just let him know, no thanks, got it. Don't let him know it hurts right now. Let him wonder. Let him see the happy Mila, and when you aren't, don't let him know that. He will have to work to guess at your feelings. He will treat you differently and eventually it won't be so hurtful and you will be able to deal much better.
Smile till it hurts Mila. For you. Focus on you. For you. Do the work.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
