People's threads get to sounding so much alike here on the board, and we give the same advice until we probably forget to expound on it....thinking the newcomer will know what we are refering to. I think what he meant be this MR already being dead is that your W is done with that one. That one is over as far as she is concerned. She has left it emotionally. Besides, you don't want to have the same R do you? If you say "yes" then you have not seen the problems nor the changes that need to be made.
What he may not have said was that you & your W can have a new MR together. In the DR book, it talks about new beginnings......and having a beginner's mindset. As long as you try to talk your W into entering back into the old M, she won't be for that....but if you approach this as if you were starting a brand new R with this lady, how would you do that? You would be very charming, fun, smart, sexy, looking hot, etc. You would want to be the man who drew her to you. However, you are going to have to do this without chasing her this time around b/c she won't respond to pursuit.
When she sees you using any of your old ways, like trying to fix the old M, she is going to try to get away from you. If you start R talks, she will try to get away. If she thinks you are trying to fix "her", she'll try to leave.
Quite a challenge, isn't it?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
