Of course, you still love him. You will always have a place in your heart for him, but as time moves along, the love you are still experiencing will become a different type of love. You have done nothing wrong here. Your h has had every opportunity to return home. The hearing may set him back a bit and give him plenty to think about, but time will tell on that one.
I'm sorry it was such an emotional time for you. However, you were given an opportunity to see that his life has not been a bed of roses and now he must complete his journey. You have your own journey to finish up and I suspect your journey will bring you peace and healing much quicker than his.
Be kind to yourself. You have done nothing wrong here. You had to protect yourself financially and there's nothing you could have done differently.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
