I'm sorry he's having such a difficult time. As for the note about the shoes, sounds to me like he felt guilty for leaving you over the holiday. Just like a child who breaks something or who knows or does something wrong, they will find a way to make amends, but there will be no apology in the mix.

In my opinion, it's neither control or a reconnection...it's just simply a way of saying "sorry" in his language. Sometimes they will send cryptic emails around holidays just to shake you up and make you as miserable as they are. There's no way of telling what is going on in his mind to be perfectly honest.

I would try to enjoy the holiday w/him gone and not think about his shoes email.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.