WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

Do you think it is possible to become addicted to feeling badly about yourself? Almost a victim mentality of sorts?

I was trying to figure out why I would push Hs buttons and talk to him by phone knowing what the outcome would be..

The documentary (sort of) also talked about addiction as being partly a body chemical response (gets complicated).

Basically the idea is that we bring to ourselves situations that fulfill the biochemical cravings of the cells of our bodies by creating situations that meet our chemical needs.

So, if I've been used to years of feeling badly about myself that sends certain chemicals to my body's cells. If I stop feeling badly those cells, expecting those chemicals, send withdrawal signals to my brain to force me to act to get that feeling back and those chemicals released again. Part of that can be the brain bringing up memories or longings to elicit emotion or action.

Maybe that's what goes on with me when I do dumb things like talking to H when I know what the result will be... Cuz I was feeling good about myself and haven't for a very long time before then... The "norm" for years has been for me to not like myself. The opposite is new for me.