My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

I wasn't really questioning or challenging, more just clarifying what I meant. it's a good dialogue, and an interesting question, isn't it? worthwhile things to contemplate when we're putting ourselves back together and perhaps learning to love again. I appreciate your transparency...and you're far more willing to evaluate these things than most people.

being abandoned can't help but affect our self-esteem. especially the process that seems to happen with infidelity when they make it all our fault, and add insult to injury. if you figure out how to control those "dark thoughts," please be sure to share how you've done it!!

what I'm dealing with, I think, is someone as wounded as I am, but as committed to healing as I am, with a complicated family situation. there is incredible potential here, but I don't know when he will be ready for a "serious" relationship, for the possibility of moving forward and exploring the potential. and that I could live with, I think, but I am aware he is casually dating several people closer to home, and my fear is that he will let down those walls with someone else and I'll be left out in the cold. the only commitment we have to each other is in a very deep friendship (with benefits :-) ) that he says another woman will have to accept. but I doubt that it wouldn't be too threatening; we've known each other too long, we know each other too well, we've walked together thru the hell of divorce, and...well, there's that very good physical thing going on too--albeit rather infrequently due to the distance. however...my new income will allow me to travel some, and perhaps we could meet somewhere in-between...anyway, I so wish I could just relax and enjoy, but the better and deeper and sweeter it gets, the tighter I want to hang onto it.