Oh man, Daddy it's changing my life. I've got both the paperback book and the audio book and have been listening/reading both, just to make sure all the concepts soak into my mind.
It's such a long process, but I'm glad you're well on your way. Also, I didn't mean to imply that I don't have things to learn. I think we all can continue to improve, even, perhaps the author of this book you're referring to.
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And, it's very well-written, very structured and sensible. I cannot recommend it enough. He begins by explaining the two primary components of self-esteem - self-efficacy and self-respect. After that he talks about the 'face of self-esteem', the illusion of self esteem - things people use to try to raise their self-esteem that don't work, then goes into the six pillars.
This does sound interesting. It's kind of funny, because I told my SO/friend person that I didn't care if he went to Timbuktu, just that he needed to get his self-esteem issues taken care of. lol.
I definitely think he falls into this trap, as does my ex. I have reason to think that my ex is a narcissist, and for him, he can always find narcissistic supply. But for the new guy, praise from me or others has only a temporary effect on his self-esteem. He needs to learn these things at his core. He needs to know and believe he truly has the value, or he will always suspect someone's praise, and he will never be able to withstand self-esteem hits. Also, he'll always struggle with whether to believe the negative or the positive, and will likely give more weight to the negative.
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There's also excellent exercises for each pillar. It's a very thorough and well-thought out reference book. I hope you try it and have as much good experiences with it as I have had!
I went through The Search for Significance, which was pretty well-done. It helped and I keep referring back, in my mind. My counselor was also having me do these exercises to help me realize my value.
And yeah, in light of that, I'm sure that my last post seems rather odd, heh.
