I have asked him many times, and he keeps denying it. I have cards from her to him, saying he will get her naked for Christmas, which I confronted him with. I overheard him telling her he loves her on the phone - he thought I was at work - didn't know I was home.
So you don't need him to admit it, Marie. You KNOW it. Face it.
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I confronted him right away - he told me he was talking to himself, then changed it to I made it up in my imagination. I don't get it at all. I am at a loss. I still don't get it - this kid is young enough to be our daughter. 18 years younget than him - a 20 year old kid. It' crazy. I pointed out to him, he is throwing his family away for something that wont' last.
You DO get it. He is a liar. He is a cheater. He is throwing his family away for a 19 year old bit on the side. You DO get it. You just can't believe how stupid that is. But it is - he is - and this is happening. Now...time for Marie to get smart and strong.
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So, I don't know if I should confront him again (which makes him really mad, which is partly why I don't or keep pretending it isn't happening)
You know that answer, sister.
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For now, I am waiting for this "affair", to blow over. I keep saying it can't last much longer. This is a kid - a toubled one, who has gotten kicked out of her mother's house, sent to live with her grandfather - total basket case, literally. Her parents were never married. Her father is living with someone he got pregnant - this kid obvoiusly was never taught morals or values. My husband is the adult - I just dont' get it. I hope its as simple and as complicated as a mid life crisis.
It doesn't matter who she is. Doesn't matter what he's going through. And it may not blow over. There is plenty for you to do for you. #1 is quit thinking about what they will or won't do. You cannot control that. You can control Marie only.
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I am tired of being lied to, disrespected and used. I am tired of being lonely and always wondering if he is with her. I am tired of not being able to trust...but the alternative, I guess, I am not ready to face.
You have to face that you have - for now - lost him to another woman. Your husband is cheating on you - breaking your M vows and taking his family down. So, Marie to H: "I know what you are doing and I will not allow it in this home any longer. You have a choice and you must make it right now. You can either cut off all contact with OW, be transparent with cell phones, email and whereabouts, and go to counseling with me to resurrect our M... OR ... you can leave tonight and I will begin interviewing lawyers Tuesday morning first thing. I will keep your clothes and personal belongings here one week - plenty of time for you to find a place. If you have not picked it all up by then, I will store it in the garage for you. But you may not live here and keep her."
