Allen, I know it was a bad move when I gave her a smart remark after her asking me the question. She said it as if I was not allowed to sit out front of our home. I reacted in a immature manner. I slipped up.
I was a calm and easy talking as could be when I brought up the common courtesy talk. I said it and left it at that, I did not argue like she wanted to and I will not bring it up again.
It's tough when all get for a response or acknowledgment are sounds and goofy looks....just not my W and I know I could be much worse off so I will stomach it.
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W had gave me the card from the dog for fathers day early. It was a great gesture, W even got the dog to bring it to me. I said to W "I know it is from the dog but thank you for doing that, it means a lot to me and thank you for bringing her into our lives."
W and I drove up to the water fronts with our bikes hitched on the car, we then rode our bikes along the water front talking ect. I got a lot her little sounds and short snippy responses but it was not too bad. My W fell from her bike going down hill, I rushed over to her in concern , she was laughing about it but hurting. I tried to help her up but she would not help me, I expressed concern and tried to make sure she was OK but did not want it....We stopped at a drug store on the way home, I ran in and got her a first aid kit. W asked for a sling just in case she has to wear it to work tomorrow...I can see/hear it now "My H did this to me"
I helped W run the bath water since her arm is not quite mobile at the moment. W still covers up around me as if I am a complete stranger.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
I know its hard OIN, but remember you said on this forum some time ago that your wife had to deal with that for ten years off and on roughly yes?
How long has it been? Six months?
You are doing fantastic, just keep it up... Your wife does not seem to be behaving like someone who has her mind set on leaving... My impression is that she's unconsciously testing you... every day to determine your resolve and maturity level... She wants to know this is going to last LONG TERM and it isn't just a short term stunt to trick her into trusting you again...
Not sure if you can either ask for or demand respect from your W. She must decide when and if to give it to you. Asking for or demanding respect right now is a sure fire way to an argument (or sigh, scoff, or eye roll).
It has been 4 months and 6 days since the bomb but at least 5 months since my W started to "fall out of love" with me.
Sometimes this all just baffles me. Like this morning, W is getting ready for work, I wake up and turn to her as she stood beside the bed and ask "how do you feel, arm still hurt" and W responds "umm hmmm" and I think "what did I do from the time I slept to the time I just woke up and asked you that question to piss you off now?"
My W decided to wear the sling to work. I got out of bed and went down the stairs to assist her with anything she may need assistance with.
I am standing on one side of the kitchen as W asked if I could grab something from the fridge, I head to the fridge but obviously not fast enough because W immediately said "NM I'll get it myself, can you do this instead" with an attitude. W puts on boots and attempts to tie the laces, I offered to help but she refused. She rather struggle and hurt than to allow me to help.
W was leaving, I closed doors behind her and said "bye" and she walked out and she did say "bye" in return.
And honestly, I don't doubt for one moment my W is serious about leaving. Despite everything we do together I can still see her walking out the door just for her to proof a point to me and herself. If she can make it a few days, she'll make it a week and if she can make it a week she'll go for two and so on till she can do without.
I watched my W shut her own mother out and to this day still does so.
Last edited by OfficerInNeed; 05/30/1007:22 AM.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Sometimes this all just baffles me. Like this morning, W is getting ready for work, I wake up and turn to her as she stood beside the bed and ask "how do you feel, arm still hurt" and W responds "umm hmmm" and I think "what did I do from the time I slept to the time I just woke up and asked you that question to piss you off now?"
Funny! But you don't have to assume that her moods are all about you. Probably they aren't.
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I am standing on one side of the kitchen as W asked if I could grab something from the fridge, I head to the fridge but obviously not fast enough because W immediately said "NM I'll get it myself, can you do this instead" with an attitude. W puts on boots and attempts to tie the laces, I offered to help but she refused. She rather struggle and hurt than to allow me to help.
OK, here I would assume she is pissy at you.
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W was leaving, I closed doors behind her and said "bye" and she walked out and she did say "bye" in return.
Very good. She listened to you and did what you asked.
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And honestly, I don't doubt for one moment my W is serious about leaving. Despite everything we do together I can still see her walking out the door just for her to proof a point to me and herself. If she can make it a few days, she'll make it a week and if she can make it a week she'll go for two and so on till she can do without.
How can you stop her? She is determined to do her own thing. Maybe she should have thought of that before she got married young. Are you going to spend the next 50 years of your life worrying every day that she will leave you? Why not let her go and see if she comes back?
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I watched my W shut her own mother out and to this day still does so.
I don't know the story behind this, but it is not a good personality trait. Goes back to the same question above, do you want to spend the next 50 years worrying every day about this?
How can you stop her? She is determined to do her own thing. Maybe she should have thought of that before she got married young. Are you going to spend the next 50 years of your life worrying every day that she will leave you? Why not let her go and see if she comes back?
No ultimately I can't force her to stay and if I had to then it's not worth it. Yes we got married young but each of us knew what a big commitment we were making. Giving the extent of our relationship and our bond up we shared, getting married felt natural.
This person is not my W or the girl I had known for the past 10 years. She has done a complete 180. There is a part of me that thinks maybe somewhere inside is still the person she once was and I know...there are times when that person surfaces.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
