Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[AliSuddenly]

So happy for you! Hey Babydoll... keep doing what you are doing, its working. No pressure no expectations, no blame/guilt/crying, keep it light and fun and welcoming. Well done! x

[Babydoll]

thanks Ali!!! Appreciate your support!

[newmama]

wow, BD--keep doing what works!!

[Babydoll]

Thanks Newmama! I'm trying!

[gatsby11]

How goes it? How are baby preparations going?

[Babydoll]

Not good Gatsby. I did what I told myself I wouldn't do. I asked H if he felt it was strange we r doing this stuff together (after I sent a text asking what the prep plans were for the weekend) and he said he's doing this all for the baby n to get his life ready. I called and said so is this ur way of coparenting? And then the words came out... (Bring on the 2x4s) I said all this and yet you still want to divorce me. He started w what does one have to do w the other? I'm doing this to help you and the baby not because my feelings have changed.

So there... All this work to find out my life will always be the same. That I thought I had no expectations and I really believed I didn't. Until the day of the graduation. H was a little flirty too. It gave me a lot of crossed signals. I thought it was just me. My family started thinking the same, saying he wouldn't inch into the family to be a dad. But they warned me too.

Yesterday was the 12 year mark of when we started dating. I was ok w it actually. I figured H would be distant to show me it was just another day to him. But I started to think that I was feeling used. Used to be a friend and go to graduation, used as a mother to lbe a dad to his son.

I told H this was it. I cried, didn't care about DBing at all, and just said how hurt I am. How confused I feel by his actions and that I stated over and over that I can NOT be in his life as anything else but his wife.

I'm going to have to pull it together and figure out how to do this alone. The end of my pregnancy, the birth, the single parent thing... And go on with a broken heart.

[newmama]

(((Babydoll))) Remember, your H is feeling that way NOW but it is most likely temporary. Would you be willing to wait until after the baby is born to see if he is serious about not being with you? Would you be willing to do what Gatsby is doing/has done which is basically having no contact with him until the baby is born?

How long did you go without having contact with him?

He probably thinks you will continue this cycle of being angry and telling him you don't want him, then softening and trying to be his friend, rinse and repeat. See what I mean? Break the cycle and see what happens. Use your willpower to get through the first week without contacting him- it is hard but YOU WILL DO IT if you want it bad enough!

[Babydoll]

That's the thing Newmama, I don't want to have to deal with any of this after the baby is born. I read your posts yesterday and realized that will be me in a year from now. And now you are ready to move forward with the divorce. I don't think I have the stregnth to continue doing this. That maybe, I too should just procedd with the signed divorce papers. That me believing or waiting for a miracle is absurd.

I'm sorry if that's sounds wrong. Just think maybe I should be learning from you and that you allowed to be there for the birth and everything and still now, doesn't know how good he has it.

So I packed up my own room today to clear out for the baby. We shouldve been furniture shopping instead I'm home alone crying and feeling the same way I did when he left.

[gatsby11]

Hey BD, sorry to hear about the latest. It would be hard because, as I said before, even I had expectations for him. He's giving the most mixed messages EVER! Keep your cool. He is very confused and you can be "above" it all.

This is amazingly hard, but there is no rush at all right now. A year is a long time from now! If so much changed for us all in one DAY, then where could any of us be in even 6 months?

[LSG]

BD,

I feel so bad for your pain in what should be a joyous occassion.

It is a shame with all that is going you should be focused on the good things not the hurt that you are feeling.

I have been following your post, and it seems that are some positives. If anything, the change in you has been positive and for the best.

Don't get discouraged no matter what happens. You have a beautiful baby on the way. You have more strength than you know to be going through this ordeal and being as strong as you have been.

Keep going strong!!!