WAW EA told her to leave

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After hearing her intentions again, I went to a calm manner and stated matter of factually that since she was the one who wanted out, then she should leave and I'll even help you pack. Also that since she was the one have the EA and cheating on me and our family, I couldn't bear the hurt that was going on any longer and would not live that way in this house any longer. Well the Sh_t did hit fan and all hell did break loose - sandi2 was spot on - she still would not accept the affair as she was not sleeping with him, but I had to explain what an EA was and added that the first phone call she made after her therapy was to him.

Well done.

Things got a little elevated and I did lose some composure honestly and called her a cheating bitch, but I'm not sorry - I still love here but what a huge relief to get this all out.

Note to self for next time: "reign that emotion in b/c it then leads to:

The whole conversation and or argument lasted a lot longer and covered way too many subjects - including my emotional abuse to her over the last 15 year

...which is how she turned it on you.

I've blocked her cell phone form any contact with him - she should figure that out today as she's out all day riding again.

Appropriate. You should not have to provide the means for her to take your family down.

My next step is no relationship with her other than kid stuff/issues and plan on as little contact and interaction as possible. I am going to wait a few days for further reaction and play it by ear - but the exit of her is not negotiable unless she ends the EA and wants to head to consoling.

Good plan.

The next step will be to contact the OMW - it's really hard to get to her without him there - he's a contractor that works from home and it's just hard - he's gone Friday mornings I have learned from my intel so that will be window to make initial contact with her. All I can do is explain the situation as I see it and hopefully get the phone logs into her hands. It's clear that my W is pursuing him, while I may already be outed by them to her, it's still worth trying I suppose.

I say sooner rather than later. Why do you have to wait until he is not there? The longer you wait, the more time he has to set the table on an explanation she'll buy.

She offered to leave last night as I was kicking her out on the street she said, but I said that she could take some time to figure out where to go. We have a family outing with all the kids tomorrow and she wants to know if she's still invited - if she doesn't go the kids may not want to go as well - so I'm really torn on that right now.

She's testing your resolve to this. Tell her 'Yes, as long as you are in contact with OM, you need to be out of the family home. Find a Residence Inn. The family outing - I'm taking my family. That includes you if and only if you are not involved in an A."

I think you are doing ok with this, DDave. Stay clear. Hold your ground b/c you really have gained some.
Greek