I think it's OK to let go

[TimeHeals]

I had the vets thread removed because I felt there was too much revealing information on there, and I was going public with some of you folks on the alt.

I admire the fact that so many folks here have fought so hard for their marriages. It restores my faith in the depth of human bonds.

Sometimes those efforts are successful in restoring a marriage, sometimes what looks successful at first doesn't stick, and sometimes the marriage isn't restored.

I think, however, that the fight is a good one so long as it isn't about outright denial about what is happening. I have learned a lot on this forum (and I have a lot left to learn no doubt).

My marriage, however, has moved from limboland onto the fast track to dissolution, and I think I just have to accept that. That doesn't mean I won't wonder about how it all happened sometimes, and that doesn't mean I won't have sad moments (especially around key events like the upcoming "getting served" and the eventual dissolution).

Sometimes things just don't turn out the way we might have wanted them to turn out. I know that it's not over until it's over, and I know that even then it's not over for some folks (especially those with kids). For me, on the other hand, I have to start living my life like it is over.

I will probably continue to post here even though some of this stuff is hard to read in the context of my personal situation, but I think it's OK for ME to let go.

[knightinneed]

Be thankful no kids were involved. I think that is what really makes people dig in and claw and fight for their marriages. After all you have a good advantage of having a nice CLEAN BREAK from your WAW.

Consider yourself very lucky timeheals. Very Lucky.

[TimeHeals]

Consider yourself very lucky timeheals. Very Lucky.

I don't know if I consider getting divorced "lucky". Lucky would be overcoming difficulties in my marriage and having a stronger, better, deeper marriage in the end. That was my hope when I came here, and I did hold onto that hope for the last 8 months or so, so I put up a fight.

But that doesn't mean I can't still have great and rewarding life ahead, and I know that. I can feel it in my bones, and I know I need to start embracing life more now.

[newmama]

Be thankful no kids were involved. I think that is what really makes people dig in and claw and fight for their marriages. After all you have a good advantage of having a nice CLEAN BREAK from your WAW.

Consider yourself very lucky timeheals. Very Lucky.

Agreed! And you can take this experience of being married to know what you need for your next marriage...I am doing the same.

[newmama]

Also, we have to realize that we are here because our spouses wanted to divorce us. The odds are against us but some make it. There is that CHANCE. That's why we have to try, you know!

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

Slacking a bit this morning (and reading all of your posts).

Oldest dog threw up on the first landing of the stairs at 6:30AM this morning, so I woke up to having to clean that up. Decided to spend the next 30 minutes spot cleaning walls (a constant thing that must be done when you share a house with two Shar-peis).

I have mostly used this long weekend to get things done around here. I am cleaning and getting things back into shape after they have long been neglected through the long limboland phase of my R with STBX (we both let things go back then because we were both stuck).

I really need to focus on making this place MY home again. Yesterday, a trip to the grocery store turned into an example of how this is slowly unfolding: I bought TimeHeals stuff, and when I got home started cleaning out the refrigerator of W-oriented stuff.

I get to reorganize this place the way I want! Yay! I get to plan my own projects!

I say I am slacking a bit this morning because one new morning ritual (when weather permits) is getting up early and walking the dogs before it gets hot (and before work starts). It's a holiday.

Need to put some clothes in the dryer, finish this cup of coffee and then get busy!

Have a great day everyone (unless you are one of those people that is a very rude driver). There is light at the end of the tunnel!

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

There is something strangely calming about reading and revising the paperwork with your attorney.

W's L committed a procedural error and filed D on 6/27/10 before having the dissolution agreement signed. Moment of panic there.

Nothing crazy in the agreement her L came up with (left a couple of things out, mis-spellings, and incomplete sentence fragments that make you wonder how somebody who practices FL for decades could do such things, but nothing crazy).

D should be final in late July/early August.

[FindingMyVoice]

Journaling:
Decided to spend the next 30 minutes spot cleaning walls (a constant thing that must be done when you share a house with two Shar-peis).

Sounds like the time I spend Windexing Shi-Tzu spit/slober off all the windows.

[timehealsall]

Be thankful no kids were involved. I think that is what really makes people dig in and claw and fight for their marriages. After all you have a good advantage of having a nice CLEAN BREAK from your WAW.

Consider yourself very lucky timeheals. Very Lucky.

While I don't agree that a divorce is "lucky" by any means, I do understand what you mean.

Had I not had children, I would have done things very differently. That I am sure of!

[TimeHeals]

Error--D filed 5/27/2010. And I was busting on her L