WAW EA via Text Only? Huge Tacticle Mistake!!

[DangerDave]

Hello everyone again, it's been a tough couple of weeks here but I do want to update where I'm at with my WAW and her EA.

Well this week she went to see a therapist and get her mind sorted. Seemed like a good idea although I was pretty nervous of the outcome. After the meeting she seemed pretty upbeat and talkative and the tension eased ogg at home quite a bit. She sent me a text that she wanted to get together and talk about us, gave me some hope that maybe she was seeing all my 180's and was having second thoughts about leaving.

We spoke last night and she started right off by saying that she was still in the same place, wanting to leave and had no desire to continue the marriage. Well so much for hope, but had to keep an open mind until then!

I've studied hundreds of posts here and really have focused on Allan A's and Sandi2's advice lines here and have sort of blended the two together for my own db plan.

After hearing her intentions again, I went to a calm manner and stated matter of factually that since she was the one who wanted out, then she should leave and I'll even help you pack. Also that since she was the one have the EA and cheating on me and our family, I couldn't bear the hurt that was going on any longer and would not live that way in this house any longer. Well the Sh_t did hit fan and all hell did break loose - sandi2 was spot on - she still would not accept the affair as she was not sleeping with him, but I had to explain what an EA was and added that the first phone call she made after her therapy was to him. Things got a little elevated and I did lose some composure honestly and called her a cheating bitch, but I'm not sorry - I still love here but what a huge relief to get this all out. The whole conversation and or argument lasted a lot longer and covered way too many subjects - including my emotional abuse to her over the last 15 year (which I do accept) but I can't change the past and can only work forward. It wasnt as clean as all of the advice here but I did the best I could and made a strong statement.

She has no where to go except her mothers - which is where she should go as she only has a part time job and thinks the kids -13/15/19 will all go with her - they might but they will miss their home and will have some tough choices to make soon. We have not discussed how to tell the - that's going to hard without pointing fingers back and forth but I know I can do it right.

I've blocked her cell phone form any contact with him - she should figure that out today as she's out all day riding again. It will be interesting if she even comments on the block. As for her computer, I will see if I can block the wifi to her laptop - not sure if I can at this point.

My next step is no relationship with her other than kid stuff/issues and plan on as little contact and interaction as possible. I am going to wait a few days for further reaction and play it by ear - but the exit of her is not negotiable unless she ends the EA and wants to head to consoling.

The next step will be to contact the OMW - it's really hard to get to her without him there - he's a contractor that works from home and it's just hard - he's gone Friday mornings I have learned from my intel so that will be window to make initial contact with her. All I can do is explain the situation as I see it and hopefully get the phone logs into her hands. It's clear that my W is pursuing him, while I may already be outed by them to her, it's still worth trying I suppose.

She offered to leave last night as I was kicking her out on the street she said, but I said that she could take some time to figure out where to go. We have a family outing with all the kids tomorrow and she wants to know if she's still invited - if she doesn't go the kids may not want to go as well - so I'm really torn on that right now.

Looking for opinions and other stratgic things I should be doing at this new juncture of DB'ing??

Thanks

DangerDave