I know I'm not handling things the DB way but I have tried as best I could for 3+ years. I want more than what this emotionally stunted H of mine has been offering. I know my latest actions won't change anything but I am ready for whatever happens next...
My H never replied to the email, he only sent me the divorce documents. As wrong as it was, I decided to call. I asked if he got the email. He said he did and that there was nothing to respond to. He was obviously angry. I got a little emotional and told him I could drop the signed papers off at his office (my office is close by). He told me to look over the papers and if I wanted to sign them, I could fax them back on Tuesday. To get me off the phone he told me had something to get done and he would call me back in a little while. So, I sat in my office looking over the papers and I decided to sign them. Then I decided to take them to his office. He wasn't happy that I showed up but we did talk for a few minutes. He told me he got the paperwork done because it is what I wanted!!! He suggested we meet to talk later after work. I reluctantly agreed and left the signed papers on his desk.
Later he sent me a text saying he didn't feel like talking and the the documents were on his desk. I replied that I know he told me he wanted to meet just to get rid of me. I also told him I wanted to clarify something..."you told me you got the papers done because it is what I want. I don't want any of this. What I do what is a secure, loving, respectful, happy relationship in some form or another. That is what I want...I wanted it with you but for some reason you are incapable of giving me what I want. You would rather process divorce papers than give me what I truly want. Just for the record, I would much rather have a loving husband than a divorce." After a long time he replied "So why did you send me an email you wanted a divorce". I said "Because you continue to not be a loving and appreciative husband" and "Everything is on your terms. When I ask for anything you either runaway or react badly in some way." His response was "So I guess it made sense for you to send that email". I replied "And you can't understand how I feel?" He said "I can see how you feel". Then my phone died. When I got home and was able to charge my phone, I replied to him that this conversation didn't translate well thru text messaging. I told him when he was ready to talk, then he should call me. I haven't heard anything back from him.
So the ball is completely in his court. He can file the divorce papers on Tuesday or he can talk to me. He is angry right now so I wouldn't be surprised if he just files the papers. It is not what I would prefer but I will be okay. I just need to move forward.
glam-Sorry about your business. You are a very bright and energetic lady...I'm sure good things will be coming along for you soon. You are right that I will be fine either way. This long journey we have been on has a way of toughening you up.
Grace-I don't understand why it does have to hurt so bloody much no matter which direction you go. I just want to move forward and be as happy as I can be. I am just so tired of feeling like my H is pulling me down. What is going on in your sitch? Have you filed? I think your girls are about my kids ages? Are either of them going off to college soon? My S graduated last year however he is still at home going to community college. My D will graduate next year. I am positive I will have an empty nest next year so I'm trying to prepare myself for that...yikes!
I replied that I know he told me he wanted to meet just to get rid of me. I also told him I wanted to clarify something..."you told me you got the papers done because it is what I want. I don't want any of this. What I do what is a secure, loving, respectful, happy relationship in some form or another. That is what I want...I wanted it with you but for some reason you are incapable of giving me what I want. You would rather process divorce papers than give me what I truly want. Just for the record, I would much rather have a loving husband than a divorce." After a long time he replied "So why did you send me an email you wanted a divorce". I said "Because you continue to not be a loving and appreciative husband" and "Everything is on your terms. When I ask for anything you either runaway or react badly in some way." His response was "So I guess it made sense for you to send that email". I replied "And you can't understand how I feel?" He said "I can see how you feel". Then my phone died. When I got home and was able to charge my phone, I replied to him that this conversation didn't translate well thru text messaging. I told him when he was ready to talk, then he should call me. I haven't heard anything back from him.