We met in 1997 Started Dating in 2000 Had our First baby in 2001 He proposed in 2002 We married in 2003 Had second baby in 2004 Moved to another state in early 2005 Built our first home in 2006 Found out he was cheating at the end of 2008 and I forgave him All of 2009 was fine we were suppose to be moving forward (also found out we were expecting) January 1st 2010 Found out he had another email that he created and was on sex sites again My husband is 32 and I'm 31
So, this is my story hopefully you all can follow along. I never for once thought that my husband would ever cheat because he despised men who did so the thought of him doing so never crossed my mind. When I found out about his affairs at the end of 2008 I forgave him because in my mind I wasn't letting anyone destroy what we had together because no one is perfect. His reasons for cheating was because I'm too clingy, he didn't have a life outside of us (his family), I wanted to be under him all the time, I never went out and had time with my friends and had a life outside of my family, etc.
All of 2009 was great or so I thought. We started praying together, eating together as a family and just overall enjoying life. What I didn't realize that although I thought we were fine he had created another profile on a sex site in April of 2009 and two other email addys that I knew nothing about. We found out in November that we were expecting another child (our third) and we were both very excited.
January 1st of 2010 I had to use his phone because mine was dead and that's where I saw that he had created another email address. When I confronted him about it he instantly blew up and said that he wanted a divorce. I'm like "really" because I found out that you have a new email address are you serious ? He's like "I'm not happy". I couldn't believe my ears. A few days later he said we could work on it and he wanted us all to be happy even if he wasn't. He stated that he suppressed the "true" him for 10 years and he feels as if he's in a box.
February of 2010 I found out that he had a secret phone and a box of condoms stashed in his truck. When I found the phone I noticed that he sends and receives naked pictures. He was pissed that I found the phone and went to stay in a hotel room that night. The next day he pushed me off the bed while I was 4 months pregnant because he was upset that I found the phone. He then proceeded to call the police on me (I was hysterical that he pushed me off the bed but he told them I was going crazy). So, he called them and they were going to take ME to a mental institution. I could not believe that he would actually lie and I was still protecting him by not telling them what he did because I knew they would lock him up. They didn't take me thankfully after they saw that I was just upset about my recent findings. He left that night to stay in a hotel room then went to stay at his dads for awhile. After about a week or so he came back home and we tried to just be cordial to one another.
March of 2010 he left for good because I called the police on him. He told me he would choke me until I couldn't breathe anymore. He has not been here physically since. He says he hates coming here. He doesn't spend time with our two kids. He doesn't go to any of my doctors visits and if he ask what's going on and I tell him he seems frustrated.
April of 2010 his mom died. He came to get the kids and I to attend the funeral and he had pictures of our family in the program and he made a speech that included his wife and kids. When he introduced me he said "his wife". He even held my hand as we walked into the service. It was weird. That night at the repass he was drinking, smoking and telling his family how he was going out with his boys and he was going to screw every woman he saw. He didn't know that I was standing right there and heard him. At this point he had not spent anytime with his sons or anything. He went out that night and didn't come back in until 7 that morning. I seriously thought that with his mom passing that would soften his heart and he would realize that life is too short and his beautiful family was a true blessing. It only hardened his heart even more.
So, I've been going through this pregnancy alone. I have no family here. I'm high risk and should be on total bedrest but I can't because I have no help. He doesn't care what the doctors say. I tell him and it's falling on deaf ears. He's changed the accounts. We had one joint account and he made a private account just for him. Only deposits what he THINKS we need. He still purchases hotel rooms and the such on our joint account. I'm not sure if that because he wants me to see what he's doing so that I can "get it" or what but I will tell you it hurts really bad.
I'm so depressed I don't know if I'm going or coming. He's able to come and go here as he pleases because I can't legally change the locks on the house unless we are divorced. I recently changed my number so that I guarantee that we have no contact what so ever. It really didn't matter because he told me to never call him unless he called or texted me. He's so cruel to me. If you saw him in action you would truly think that I'm the one that cheated and he's pissed off at me instead of the other way around. I did all the wrong things in the beginning by begging, pleading, crying, etc.
I had my first phone counseling with a divorce bust counselor this past Friday and she gave me some insight on my sitch and a few goals to do.
