Sigh............... Becoming conflicted again. Had about an hour long talk with a mutual friend of the WAW and myself yesterday. She INSISTS that my WAW is NOT living with OR planning to live with her ex. Despite the fact that I KNOW he was living at the same address just a month ago, before all this started. Plus I've asked a couple people that are knowledgeable in child pyschology about why my daughter would have made up or lied about what she told me about her and her baby brother and mommy living at " sissie's Daddie's house"
According to the mutual friend, she acknowledged the place was in fact left to the ex, but apparently Im supposed to believe that he moved out, or is in the process of doing so because he is in a committed relationship with another person and the only reason he's there is to fix up the place for WAW and he is letting her stay there and helping her out as a way to make up for how he treated her before 15 years ago.
The mutual friend keeps defending his domestic violence incident with his own sister last year, saying that siblings fight all the time and that doesnt mean he would hit the kids. She keeps glossing over my concern that I simply DONT WANT my kids, especially my daughter, to even be exposed to the possibility of witnessing such a thing. The mutual friend also has acknowledged that H beat up on WAW 15 years ago , but " he was only a kid and people can change" as if thats supposed to make me feel better. Well, how much could he have changed if he just got into a physical altercation with his sister, in front of his two kids just about a year ago ??????
I KNOW the WAW is DISTRAUGHT over my filing for custody, insisting that Im trying to take the kids from her, triggering a flashback to what happened with the twins. This is making me vulnerable to want to believe this story, even though ALL the available evidence points to Im being played for a fool. I cant do a damn thing if SHE wants to live with him. But I cant get my head around my almost 6 year old daughter just making up what she told me out of thin air AND that mommy told her to keep it a secret.
I KNOW that fighting for having primary custody will create a gulf the size of the Grand Canyon between us. But I suppose theres always the possibility that after a few months it might actually wind up with her re assesing what is happening and she might decide to come home and give our R another chance.
The mutual friend claims that the WAW has been told and realized that she needs to depend on herself to make herself happy instead of another person ( me). Further claims that the WAW has NO interest in another relationship with ANY man at this point, because of trust issue related to her past and our current problems. But the mutual friend also admits that the WAW is prone to lying when scared.
Either Im actually being told the truth by the WAW via the mutual friend, the WAW is doing a masterful job of fooling the friend or the mutual friend is not as nuetral as she claims to be and is helping the WAW by telling me what she thinks I need to or want to hear in an effort for me to drop the custody fight.
God this is SOOOOOOO confusing!!!!! I want to do whats right for the kids ( which I think right now is to stay with me ) but I also want to minimize the animosity between me and the WAW as much as humanely possible, trying to NOT push her further away.
Anyone ever go through a custody battle and still wind up reconciling at a later date ????
