Not good Gatsby. I did what I told myself I wouldn't do. I asked H if he felt it was strange we r doing this stuff together (after I sent a text asking what the prep plans were for the weekend) and he said he's doing this all for the baby n to get his life ready. I called and said so is this ur way of coparenting? And then the words came out... (Bring on the 2x4s) I said all this and yet you still want to divorce me. He started w what does one have to do w the other? I'm doing this to help you and the baby not because my feelings have changed.
So there... All this work to find out my life will always be the same. That I thought I had no expectations and I really believed I didn't. Until the day of the graduation. H was a little flirty too. It gave me a lot of crossed signals. I thought it was just me. My family started thinking the same, saying he wouldn't inch into the family to be a dad. But they warned me too.
Yesterday was the 12 year mark of when we started dating. I was ok w it actually. I figured H would be distant to show me it was just another day to him. But I started to think that I was feeling used. Used to be a friend and go to graduation, used as a mother to lbe a dad to his son.
I told H this was it. I cried, didn't care about DBing at all, and just said how hurt I am. How confused I feel by his actions and that I stated over and over that I can NOT be in his life as anything else but his wife.
I'm going to have to pull it together and figure out how to do this alone. The end of my pregnancy, the birth, the single parent thing... And go on with a broken heart.
