New relationship, trying 180.

[FindingMyVoice]

Okay, this is what Coach posted in my thread a couple of days ago with regards to boundaries.

"When you do _____________. I feel ____________________. If you continue to do _______________ then I will ___________."

Boundaries let people know how they can treat you. It's very loving to yourself and healthy. Model this good behavior for him. Men are very trainable.

And this boundary, for example, is what he suggested regarding how to respond to someone who is speaking disrespectfully to you:

"When you say things like__________. I feel disrespected, unloved and unappreciated by you. It is hurting our relationship. If you talk to me that way in public again I will leave you and go home by myself."

And then just about boundaries in general:

Boundaries are all about behavior, something someone does, its' not personal or a ultimatum. Not making it personal keeps people from getting defensive.

When you state a boundary then the other person should validate your feelings, "I can see how you would feel that way when I do that."

that's a dialouge, it's modeling healthy, open, honest communication. most people have never experienced it.

I hope that helps with regards to boundaries. There's lots of info on this forum about boundaries because it's a fundamental principle in DBing. So be sure to just read through more threads too, even do a search on 'boundaries'.

Further, I know you said you were reading Henry Cloud's book on boundaries; what other books have you read about them? Or, what other books have you read regarding communicating in Rs?