I've been married almost 4 years. My W is 29 and I'm 36. We have a 2 year old boy. It seems that most of our issues started after our son was born. There was the added stress of sleepless nights and my W had gone P/T at work to watch him to avoid daycare. Nothing we thought we couldn't handle though, no real issues that I could see on the surface.
About 2 months ago my wife hit me with the D Bomb. She said that over the last year she has really built up a ton of resentment towards me. She explained to me that she has given me all the signs and has had conversations about our marriage but I apparently swept them under the rug. The issues were pretty common to what i've read in these forums. She needed more emotional support, help around the house, help with our son, etc....
I was unsure where all of this was coming from and I was really hit hard by this. I did some snooping and found that she had been having what I thought was an EA with her manager at work. When I found the records I was floored with all the texts that had gone back and fourth. The texts had stopped about a week prior to me finding out. When I confronted my W she said that he is just a friend who was listening to her problems, prior to him working there he was some sort of therapist. Since then I haven't noticed any interaction but who knows what happens at work. She swears to me that she would never cheat on me and would never hurt me like that. For about a month she was very ashamed of the situation and showed real signs of remorse. My trust in her though has slipped away.
FWD to present... I left the house for about a week (back home now) and started working on myself. I've taken a lot of the advise from DR and I started seeing some results. She calls more sends me texts through out the day. We haven't spoken about D for a few weeks. We went to a MC together and it went ok, I've gone back by myself for the 2nd session. She may go by herself but she hasn't made any concrete plans as of yet.
There is little or no affection from her end, she even stopped wearing her wedding rings. We sleep in the same bed which is hard for me but I enjoy her company. Rarely she'll put her hand on me or rub my back, sit right next to me on the couch while we watch TV. She even made an attempt to plan for us to go to dinner last weekend but we ended up staying home with take out and a movie, which was nice too....
I know that over the last 2 years I've been a heel. I've really picked up my game around the house and with our son. It has made me feel better about myself that I am contributing a bit more. I really want to save my marriage and I shouldn't expect it to get fixed in 2 months. I just don't want to fall into this routine where we are roommates and stay together for our son. I'm not sure if these are true signs of someone who wants a divorce. Is she just waiting to for me to screw up and fall back into the old routines? Any advise would be welcomed.
