MLCer or addicted infidel?

[newmama]

I swear, OW Drama FEEDS the affair! It keeps H from focusing on the real issue, himself, what he is doing and has done.

As usual, you are very smart, CW. Maybe this is why affairs can last so long because the OWs really know how to drag it out with drama. And yes, it does cause quite a distraction from the reality of the situation doesn't it???

Mom still doesn't know H left! One of these days, when I am better at boundary setting, I will have to tell her!

But what does setting boundaries have to do with telling your mom? I am just curious- I don't understand!

They say you often end up attracted to the way they make you feel about yourself. They are a mirror, showing you something you want to see. You aren't necessarily attracted to them personally, you are attracted to the way you think they see you and the feeling it creates.

The whole "seeking validation" theory. This also explains why some people who are responsible and "good" still cheat...they are responsible and good because it feels right but also because they got a lot of validation for being that way. Their need for validation doesn't go away so even the responsible types are susceptible to affairs.


And about your H not wanting to be the bad guy for filing for D... what about not wanting to put the nail in his own coffin? I think that is my WH's hang up! (well of course I want to believe doubt has something to do with it- in both of our cases!)