Mostly right, but we have never lived together. I found myself saying yes to the 'walking away" part...the entire thing is accurate. I still feel the strong, and very conflicting emotions.
As for his withdrawing, I think that is exactly what I'm asking, as I'm asking for feedback and support for doing my 180. I've never had the opportunity before. Well, I could have in my previous marriage, but I waited too long to save it. By the time the ship was ready to be turned around, the final hurt came, and I was well past done. I don't want to wait that long this time.
With my new R, sometimes, the only solution seems to be to end it. But then, I find myself resisting that boundary, even when I commit by expressing it to him, which looks horribly bad, of course, and seems that I make threats and there are no consequences to his actions. At least I'm mostly able to stick to the friends thing, since that's where I usually end up when he withdraws, anyway. But I feel myself slipping into relationship thoughts and stuff, and haven't really stopped.
Okay, so a summary of things I'm asking for/needing/wanting from this board:
--help with 180, feedback and tweaking, along with accountability. --any other insight into how to deal with my boundaries (which are apparently sloppily applied). My counselor suggested I reread Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. --how to get out of this quagmire of inequality, without necessarily giving up the R. Is there a way?
Thanks, for summarizing for me, and taking the time to read everything. I know that was a gargantuan post. lol.
