Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

IDU,

I have not been this tired in a while. I remember when I would be tired from the moment I woke up. I do not want to go back to that stage. It is only one day, so I think I will be okay.

Today, I hoped and prayed she would call or e-mail. I knew she would not. Why is it sometimes I feel so done, and sometimes I feel I want my W back. I just do not get it.

You are right that it does get better. I just wish it would be better soon.

I am doing the best for me and the kids, and it is so hard. I just want to ask what is she thinking. Just give it a chance to work. We had something before, and it is not gone. I know the wrong thing to do. I even want to tell her "I love her." Another wrong thing to do. I am not sure that is even what I want anymore. I know I contradict myself. My emotions contradict me.

I have stopped trying it feels like, and I am very quiet and do not talk much.

W was talking to me about my work, and I just stopped talking when I thought about the divorce summons. It seemed that she wanted to know about my job for another reason to make me more miserable. She had all the facts about my job on the divorce papers. She has no clue. I just do not want to let her hurt me anymore.

I hope to take the kids out later on the scooters. I enjoying riding one of theirs too. It is a little exercise for me.

Lastly, sometimes I hope wife will call or e-mail me and tell me that everything will be okay, but it will never happen I know. I have lost hope in our M, but not in myself and the kids.

Sorry to go on and on about my sitch.

Thanks for being here for me.