still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

Just make sure you are doing it because it is what you want and not just to get a reaction.

This is precisely one of the reasons why I HAVEN'T filed yet! I did not want to risk getting a divorce because I was hoping it would wake him up. Now I feel like I want to divorce this man who is too weak to follow through on his threats of divorce to me and too weak to end his A with the OW and obviously too weak to fight for our marriage.

I dont know... me refusing to sign the papers seems to have helped my sitch the tiniest bit, and was the turning point of our 'friendship' or whatever mess I am in right now.

But honey, your H is not cheating on you! And I have been doing this for 14 months. ANd I have refused the divorce every time he has brought it up til now. And you have evidence that whatever it is that you are doing IS working!

So I was going down cheeseless tunnels, and not doing what was working,and truthfully if I warn my WH that I will file for D (something I haven't said since last March 09) and he decides he wants to R, then I will be grateful. But if he doesn't, then I will feel good that I am divorcing a weak, foolish man.