Need 'How to' on exposure,,,, and balls to do it

[Optimust]

It's getting finer tuned, please keep up the critiques:
"I want to be in a committed, and honest relationship. This will not happen as long as you are in an affair with OM, weather it be emotional or physical, it disrespects me, the vows we took, and our family. This marriage doesn’t have room for 3 people. This is about choices, your choices not mine. You need to figure this out soon. If you choose a better life with our family, marriage, and friends, you must end all contact with him, forever, and we will fix our issues together. A committed mother and wife is welcome in our children’s household. D1 and D2 deserve an honest, committed, and loving environment which we can provide. I will not support you if you choose to to put the A above the needs of our family, and continue causing damage and confusion to our children and you need to be aware that those things are not welcome in our home."

Others are saying to demand a decision right now. I do not want her to just spit out a decision, because most likely she will be in a defensive mode and at that point feel I am the enemy, and blurt out what the enemy does not want to hear. She needs to make a decision, and she will understand that that decision will need to be soon, otherwise she is now in the uncomfortable place I've been in for over 2 weeks.