How should I handle MLC direct lying?

[Punktmann]

On the anniversary, I'd leave that well alone. Bringing it up will remind him what he's doing and make him feel guilty, and this is pressure.

Pressure drives them further away, not closer. Their typical response to pressure is anger.

My inlaws and I are planning to go on a weeks vacation this summer. I'm near dark/pretty dim w H. If he doesn't get invited he'll be hurt (understandably). But I'm not supposed to be extending any invitations to him. Is there a way to suggest he go w/o it being detrimental to his MLC process?

Be careful of getting the in laws in the middle of your DBing.

Going dark is pretty much the opposite of going on vacation with your H.

Nothing wrong with either one depending on where you are at.

If you invited your in-laws, because you wanted to spend time with them/kids(?) then no, don't invite him. Being dark is living your life without him. So that his hurtful actions don't interfere with you getting your stuff together, which is your job right now.

He'll be hurt. The point of being dark is not to make them angry, but sometimes it does.

If your in-laws invited you, then let them worry about it.

If they do, then going is not being dark.


Best,

Punkt