My vote is with the advice from the other forum. It can only seem vindictive to go announcing the affair to others when you haven't confronted the spouse directly. And if you can't control the spouse, why would an outside person have leverage? It is wishful thinking to think that their friends' or parents' disapproval, if you can even get it, will change the spouses' behavior. Be a man. Stand up to the spouse. Anything else is just acting in desperation.
For an example of how exposure to the world and not the spouse went, you can read the thread of Fracesc also known as FormerlyknownasF. His wife has not spoken to him since he exposed her affair to the world, they have separated all their possessions, and are looking forward to a divorce. He followed Allen's advice to the letter.
