I really let her have it yesterday... For the first time during the separation I just said enough is enough and I had no desire to keep doing this.
On one hand, I'm embarrassed about it, but on the other hand I feel good that I finally let it all out.
I never called her any names, or said anything insulting, but I was angry, and I'm sure she could tell.
I told her a lot of things I've read here, about refusing to be a backup plan, refusing to be second best, having no desire to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me.
I said it pretty forcefully too.
Then she got really angry. Said that now everyone is going to know she is a bad person, and finished that thought by saying "And tell all your friends I said f*ck off"
Geez.
Also, I apparently, I was "NEVER" there for her in any way, I am crazy now, according to her, and I had an affair.
News to me.
Really, all I feel right now is anger. An impressive, nagging anger.
YOu need to back up off of her, in my experience it is not productive to talk to someone in this state of mind.
Your hand is forced for NC. She's sounding really crazy. Not sure for how long. This what happened to me, and there was nothing I could do or say that would have helped me.
She's basically crazy right now dude. It means anything goes. It can last from years, to for ever. Mine was willing to get police, state agencies involved over time, also had no problem releasing damaging information or acting on it. This "mode" was turned on non-stop.
"It" was also attacking me all the time, even if I wasn't doing anything. I tried to analyze it and reason with "it", but it was picking up on statements and things "it" could use against me. Hurts like hell.
"It" was basically trying to hurt me, and crush my life. "It" was getting stronger or more raged through arguments and even when it did damage on me "it" got worse.
I hear once you been through one of these, once you see the signs of it again you steer away.
What you could do if you have any "sane" friends is ot ask one of them to spend some time with her. Not to talk about the situation, but spend some time in a positive interaction.
So you gotta obviously stay back off of her. As dramatic as they can be, you know its going to be some of your worst fears will occur.
None of my/our friends want anything to do with her.
And I hear ya... I know.
I got a bunch of these "cheated on" stories where the W or H for that matter basically "went crazy". The cheating was part of the "attacks". Real damaging stuff.
Lay back, we all know it hurts like hell hopefully something will wake her up cause I know you still have some care in you.
However, she may be building up her 'evil' side - and theres not going to be anything you can do or say to 'it'.
Oh, when I told her I would not be a backup plan or second best to anyone she tried to tell me that I wasn't second best and she thinks about me all the time and blah blah blah.
I wasnt really hearing it, though. I assume she was just trying to keep me on the leash with that.
