I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[timehealsall]

hey girl!

I'm much better. how are you? I've been swamped at work up until today so haven't been able to be on here much..

Been riding it out these past few days.

you can totally tell that he is being insecure and his actions prove he doesn't want a D. he has been flirting and making comments about me and my new conquests (eye roll) and talks about how I'm going to be with other men. and silly text messages about it.

Anytime we talk about something and our R comes up, I won't talk about the future and he'll say how it's because I want a D so I can be with other people. hmphhhh..

so anyway.. 2 nights ago, he took S to a game with him and they came home late and exhausted. I told him to just stay the night and he said no.. i said why not? he said "because you want a D." I said okay and that was that.

yesterday we chatted it up throughout the day and then last night he went to a ballgame with S5 and came home super late.. I woke up and we put S to bed and then I told him just to stay if he wants so he doesn't have to wake up early. he hugged me.. and said no because I (meaning me) want a D and he shouldn't stay if I don't want him.. I said oh brother.. then he said... look at what you did to my face. I can't get over that in a day.. I said, well then you can understand where I'm coming from (meaning his A; his lack of understanding my healing process) funny seeing the tables turn?!?

whatever.. so this morning he came back over and was laying on the couch complaining he was sick last night and that his neck hurts. we had small chat and then I told him that if he needed a break (ironic how he thought being a SAHM was easy/ tell me that he couldn't understand how I did nothing all day and the kids are a piece of cake); meanwhile he is exhausted from running around now lol), I'd call my mom and he can have the kids spend a night with her. He said that would be a good idea and perhaps I shouldn't have but I asked if he wanted to go to dinner.. (I usually never made the plans.. always went along with what he wanted to do.. never made a suggestion really.. so this is a total 180 for me). He said yeah, where would you like to do. I said I'll find some place for us.. just let me know what you're in the mood to eat.. so that was that.

we shall see what happens..

happy weekend to all! HUGS!