Confused and looking for advice

[gr8 day 2B alive]

had spent money on the kids for clothes and this upset him off because he has no spending money, cannot put gas in his vehicle or eat, at this point I said

This is where he needs to step up and do something for himself.
IMO, say to him: You have a choice to continue down this road you're on or step up and do something to change the situation.
It really comes down to that. Ask questions such as, would you like to provide more for your kids?? Him-yes. What are you doing to achieve this?
If you feel comfortable saying this put it out there in a loving concerned fashion.

Is it weird to feel like maybe I am better off without him or is this just another stage?

You will feel this quite often. It's part of detaching.
Your happiness is self fulfilling.

I remember saying to my W during one of our chats:

"You don't need me and I don't need you."

Keep up the good work!

f your H is tearing up during convos that's a good sign.
It shows he does feel that he's losing you.