NO, YOU ARE NOT REPLACEABLE AND DON'T YOU DARE GET ON FB RIGHT NOW. Your H is a miserable excuse for a human being at this time and he's despicable. He's not the man you married, and while he is like this you are better off without him.
DG, your H is mentally ill right now and you're letting him suck you down with him. Don't let him do this!
Ok DG, you really think that they will be happy forever? What if they break up in six months or a yer? Statistically they don't have very good chance at long term relationship.
YOU ARE NOT REPLACEABLE AS A MOTHER
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
H said the only guilt he felt was for not leaving my crazy a-s years ago.
That I should move on as he has. That he could never love me. That he now found real love and is happier now than he has been our entire marriage.
He doesn't believe I suddenly have a life. Says I can't need anyoney from him since I'm gone to my divorced friends house every weekend. That I'm spending money on that instead of the kids.
Everything feels so hopeless. I can't handle another 39 years of struggling to get over what was done to me in the first 20.
I feel so unloveable and worthless. I don't even know how to play with my own kids. I wasn't allowed to play growing up. What kind of a mother is that?
My kids deserve someone who is whole and not messed up.
DG, If you really believe those things about yourself, then change them.
Your H is filled with the 'feel good' hormones right now. They don't last forever and when real life sets in for him and ow it'll be a different story.
DG, you have to detach from this. You have to step back and really try to understand what is driving your H to do and say the things he has.
You know, I have lived for 52 years and I have yet to meet someone who is not messed up in one way or another. It's our choice to overcome those things and make us stronger or let them destroy us.
I am messed up in so many ways and levels. I don't know where to start. How am I supposed to teach my kids what I don't know? How screwed up are they going to be to have me as their mother?
I've been fighting and trying to overcome things for most of my life.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being the square peg.
With H I felt that together we could overcome things. Now I'm alone and have two kids depending on me. And I can't even fix myself.
DG, I believe that you have been fighting the good fight and for your efforts you have been blessed with two beautiful children.
Accept yourself first and foremost. It is OK to march to the beat of a different drummer. DG, you have to love yourself first.
When our MLCers do this to us it crushes our self esteem and those feelings of worthlessness set in. It really is our choice whether or not we pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and realize that this is NOT about us or our worth, or we let it sink us into a bottomless cesspool.
You said it sweetie, your kids are depending on you. You cannot let them down.
DG - I'm back.... Sweetie it's good to vent and b**** at life, look at us all in here, we are all struggling, going through this is hard, but we will get to the other side, you have to believe that.
I had some dark thoughts as well at times, when everything seemed pointless without H and I didn't really want to go on, and it was so hard that the thoughts of escape entered my mind...it would be easier then to deal with my pain. Mind you it was fleeting, because I made myself concentrate on the positives that I have in my life. And don't forget hope, hope for better tomorrow, hope it's always there for you if you let it.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
