You sound great - keep working on yourself..keep GAL'ing.
Quote:
hoping this feeling lasts for a bit..
Remember you can control YOUR feelings. Takes some work but they can be controlled.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
having one of those days...you know when everything seems to go wrong?
feeling a lot of pressure to make so many decisions...big decisions...what will happen to our home? where will i live? what will be my financial situation? how will i tell my family? i clearly have been avoiding and i'm not even sure where to start.
H is still very friendly with me. according to DB coach, we are in stage 2 - friendship. i'm supposed to treat him as a friend, nothing more. i've been doing ok...having PMA, being cheerful and things seem to be going well. good reciprocation and he seems to be interested in me (talkative, open, doing nice things). i backslid a bit today but hopefully not too much. although the coach made a good point that this is a pass/fail stage (no room for error).
feeling more and more like he's not having an mlc. know it doesn't matter what i call it but i think it really boils down to me hurting him deeply coupled with him being a runner.
still not holding my breath for anything but i'll tell you this much...some of his behavior is SO bizarre...friendly, sweet, intimate...and then wanting a divorce?
feeling a lot of pressure to make so many decisions...big decisions
I am in a similar spot - have to fill out the finacial legal docs - I do have worries about how I will be able to care for myself - let alone my kids (assuming I somehow can convince a judge that I deserve them 50% of the time). THe funny thing is...that Pandora - you can only do the best that you can. THis is a time where we must face these fears. We must go thru them.
Quote:
how will i tell my family?
Tell them the truth but do not provide all of the gory details. If you have worked on yourself enough they wil notice the strength in you and not worry.
THe friendly behavoir...similar in my sitch. W has been friendly, nice but not overly social. We need to remember that in there minds they are justified. I personally believe that the friendship is guilt.
Keep the expectation down but be yourself. If you want to be friendy do so but expect nothing.
GOd BLess, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
so today is hard too. had gone out of town this weekend. H went out with co-workers and his "co-worker" was there. the girl he texts just "about work." well apparently he told me they joke around now too. and then didn't tell me about this outing until yesterday. then he's told me he never talks on the phone and well he called her yesterday (yes, i looked at his phone...i'm starting down the kuku train again). so he went from saying they NEVER hang out or talk on the phone and only text about work to this. oh and he told me himself that he texted her early in the am this week to help her wake up since she's been getting into work late.
here's my thing about this sitch. you know that movie/book...he's just not that into you. well clearly he's just that into her (and not me).
i'm so upset b/c well things have been going well (PMA, being just friends) but i backslid big time today and talked about this issue. i'm tired of being strong day in and out and having to act like i have no feelings.
please vets, hit me some serious 2x4s b/c seriously what is wrong with me?! this is NOT the time for me to be acting like this and i should know better. i just feel SO hurt and i'm having a poopy day.
well apparently he told me they joke around now too
Quote:
and then didn't tell me about this outing until yesterday.
Quote:
(yes, i looked at his phone...i'm starting down the kuku train again
So obviously you have not totally detached. Why the heck are you looking at the phone? What did you expect? Did you think you would feel better. Com'on on you know better Pandora.
Quote:
i backslid big time today and talked about this issue
okay all of us have done it at one time or another. NOW pick yourself up. You have 2 options - Get up and keep moveing FORWARD or STAY in a pit of misery. Which one do you want.
You can do this girl! You can.
Okay enough of the 2x$ - You and I both know how hard this is. Hard though does not mean impossible.
If you can stop looking at the phone - stop worrying about what MAY happen and just enjoy today you will make it.
He is going to say things that are not true. He is not in his right mind right now. He may never be - do you want to go crazy? I think not. So...reward yourself today and over the weekend. Please.
God Bless, eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
i'm still feeling bad about what i did. why...cause well i was on course with what the coach was saying and things were progressing. then i screwed up. i'm trying hard not to beat myself up about it but man...it's like you get so far and doh, there i go again.
so trying to pick myself up. i like the bike analogy. you're right TG and Eric, i can do this! thanks for reminding me.
any advice for putting on a happy face when you feel like s!#$ inside?
oh and some good news! someone is renting my condo so that is one less thing i have to think about. it just fell into my lap...what a nice blessing amidst all this chaos.
