Ken, I honeslty can't see her as you write her leaving you and her kids for this man. It's just something she has to hold onto right now. OfficerInNeed's thread is in a similar spot. His wife is clearly not leaving for OM, but she wont' let go of it in her head yet...
You ARE doing it right ... NOW.. it just took you SO DAMN LONG to get up and FIGHT this thing man...
Timing IS important, so yes, take the time to do it right.
Note : Try NOT to RUSH the process. Your wife needs time to shift her attitude and if you PUSH that you can just make a big mess you have to clean up.
My advice is to keep pushing until you see she's in the right direction. Then back off and do everything you can to be inviting and wait for her to come to you.
You will find this is much like dating. There's a lot of subtext at play and you have to learn to work with it and not rush it... This is like dating a woman, you can't rush it or force it... Do everything you can to be inviting and wait for her to come to you.. that's usually a good approach from what I am reading
MWD says in DR patience isn't just important, its ESSENTIAL
