That is my point. If I say to W "I am calling OMW to make protect our marriage" W will say "there is no marriage to protect" , "There is nothing going on, it was a friend of the opposite sex so that means something has to be going on? whatever think what you want"
So the only way I can justify calling OMW is to prove I know something is going on and the sacrifice of that will be exposing how I gather intel and I don't want to that therefore I cannot tell W that I will talk to OMW.
Right now and all day since this has occurred W has slept and gave me the silent treatment. Told her I was leaving and taking the dog with me, she just looked at me then closed her eyes again.
If there was any chance I think today killed it. For the first time since our sitch began she verbally admitted there was a chance and she was trying, now that she exposed some feelings I know she will now reconsider and push for separation. She said she has tried and still cannot be happy.
I wanted to say to her, that if she was committed to reconcile we can take the necessary steps to building a better relationship. I wanted to tell her that it took a lot for our marriage and relationship to get to this point and it will take a lot of work to improving it.
W had said during all this earlier when she mentioned she was trying but still not finding happiness that she never said anything because she did not want me to know she was vulnerable, I wanted to say "There is no reason to be vulnerable, I can understand if you have doubts or concerns about the process of reconciliation but the process will be quicker and healthier if we communicated to each other and worked together on this"
I just can't imagine her actually wanting to work on our marriage so soon after the last blow up.
Also, I spoke with my friend today. HE said he is about 50% sure they spoke yesterday. He said my W was down in training area and seen OM coming up from the stairway that leads to the training area and from what my friend told me, OM had no reason to be down there. He said he is not 100% sure that is the case but he will try to find out and let me know.
Also he said he has heard nothing about any managers being notified about the situation or about my W getting pulled aside and getting the talking to by any manager. SO now I am starting to wonder if OM is BSing again.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10