I just can't take it anymore

[james217]

im nowhere near dating or any of that. I'm just drained and tired. I hope things look up soon.

[K4D]

Cheer up. It is a new day. Find something to live for. God didn't take you for a reason. Figure out why.

Kevin

[idontunderstand]

I'm sorry if I'm not as strong as you guys. to be honest I'm thinking about telling s3's mom to not let me see him anymore. I don't deserve to have a family anymore I guess.

I've failed and they are better off without me.

What am I trying for? More pain? More hurt? More disappointments? More hoping shyt is going to go right then have it tumble down? There is never a consistent positive thing going on anymore for me.

not one. Nothing to buidl upon. So what is the damn point? God should just put me out of my misery and end it. I'm tired of struggling suffering being hurt getting my hopes up and having them shot down. It's pointless and endless and no matter what solution I try. No matter what I try to do. NOTHING CHANGES.

This is pure fuccing hell. I can't stand it. I'd rather be dead than live another day like this.

We all have to learn the big lesson. You have been here long enough to have learned it already. Everyone in their own time though, I understand.

So, here is the lesson: you and only you are responsible for your happiness!

Yes, people hurt us, disappoint us and let us down. It happens to everyone. We hurt, cry, get depressed and get over it. Do you like being miserable? I'm sure you don't. You have to want to get better.

Please, get the help that you need.

God bless you.

[james217]

Thanks for the replies. Well I just found out I won't be getting s3 for memorial weekend.

One of my first loves found me on fb. She called and we had a nice little talk. A few nice little talks I guess.

Alot of old friends have been telling me stuff like this.

I guess when u r in love with someone and it is true love. Even when they hurt you you still love them. I count it all as life. Things are going to happen. If they didnt it would be life. Some of the best things come from the worst situations. God knows what he is doing...That is if you are serving him..either way there is a plan for your life. It is your quest to find that plan..

That is how the enemy works. He always wants a person to look at their current situation and not their future. You have a choice at this point to keep focusing on your present or focus on your future. The enemy is trying to take you out so that you will not bring to fruition the life that God has planned for you. You better open your eyes and see this thing. You are not in a physical fight..you are in a spiritual fight and you are losing right now. U need to pick ur self up and start building your relationship with God. You need the Word of God to breath life back into you. It is not about your family or your W that cheated and left you. It is about you taking control of your life by letting God fight your battles and be your savior

The enemy would not fight you so hard if there was no potential for greatness. And at times God will allow the things we have to go away so that we can focus on Him. God is the true focus. I can honestly say that no matter what anyone else in my family does I am going to serve God. People will come and go but God is everlasting and faithful. He will not leave you but often times we leave him for relationships. We compromise our faith so we dont have to be alone.

Serenity has as well as alot of you posters on this board.

Even the mutual friend is concerned and praying for me and WAW it seems that she realizes things weren't being told to her correctly. *sighs*

I have not heard from WAW since my bday weekend (first week in may)

Our phone bill is due (she hasn't been using it probably has another phone) and I'm stuck with this humongous bill and wondering if it's even worth it to pay because my money is extremely low.

S8 called me. I didn't get to talk to him. I was sleep. I'm really sad. I guess my M is over.

I wish I knew what was going to happen. But I will have to let God work his magic and start going back to church and trying to see what happens.

I still feel really empty. I feel lost and confused but it's not in my hands. It's in Gods.

[idontunderstand]

I still feel really empty. I feel lost and confused but it's not in my hands. It's in Gods.

I know you do. We have all felt that way.

Stop threatening to turn it over to God and just do it.

It's all out of your control anyway. Turn it over to Him and ask him to help you.

We live and learn, make mistakes, learn and go on.

You have to move on.

Many people here are worried about you. I am too. We can't do anything to help other than listen. But, your story never changes. You are in a bad spot in a lot of ways. You have to pull yourself out of it. We can't help you do that.

I continue to pray for you.

Remember: God helps those who help themselves.

[james217]

I still feel really empty. I feel lost and confused but it's not in my hands. It's in Gods.

I know you do. We have all felt that way.

Stop threatening to turn it over to God and just do it.

It's all out of your control anyway. Turn it over to Him and ask him to help you.

We live and learn, make mistakes, learn and go on.

You have to move on.

Many people here are worried about you. I am too. We can't do anything to help other than listen. But, your story never changes. You are in a bad spot in a lot of ways. You have to pull yourself out of it. We can't help you do that.

I continue to pray for you.

Remember: God helps those who help themselves.

I pray about it. It's really hard for me not to do or say anything. I haven't left a voicemail. I emailed once but very little talking.

I feel as though there's an inner turmoil within me for my soul. I have heard it so many times like God is talking to me through others and how people are saying WAW was removed so that I could focus on things I need to do right now and that things can change on that later.

I go from depressed to ok moods. I'm just trying to organize documents and prepare for my doctor appointments. Sometime next week I have to go to local hospital and try to get some insurance.

I'm kinda blah right now. Dead but I'm still hanging even if it's by a thread.

Alot of times when I think I can't go on someone posts on my thread or I get a text message on my phone or a phone call from someone or an I.M. from someone who just seems to know what to say even if I haven't talked to them in a long long time and they don't know what's going on.

The phone bill really angers me though. WAW knows I need it and knows I cannot pay this full thing. I guess ill have to do it for this month and then see what happens. There are too many doctors and family members counselors and friends who have this number and check on me.

That'll really put me in a financial hole though but what else can I do

[Gynandtonix]

Have a man hug from me.

You had a life before you met your partner.

You will have a life after these events.

This is just a transition from one part of your life to another.

Accept in life there are things you can not change, but conversely, accept in life there are things you can change.

Try to see the good in what is happening - you have I'm sure the most special children in the world, and you are young.

Look at the things that you do not like in your life and change them.
But YOU must change them.
Change will not happen on it's own.

If you keep your head down and hoping for some special signpost to guide you, you will miss possible opportunities you would have seen if you were looking up and forward.

Set boundaries!

Regards,
Gyn.

[CityGirl]

E-mail your W...

W: Please use this message as a formal request for you to return the cell phone you have in your possession that is listed under my cell account. Please send the phone via the USPS by June 1, 2010.

If you can't cancel her phone due to the contract at least you will have it back and she can't use it further. Often times cell carriers have a clause about contract obligations if a "life change" takes place such as a divorce.

[Serenity13]

James ~

God will allow the things we have to go away so that we can focus on Him.

I am thrilled as I can be to see something I said "stick" with you...However...

I will have to let God work his magic and start going back to church and trying to see what happens.

He isn't Santa Claus and if you go with the mindset that you are going just because He is going to step in and save the day with His magic then my friend you will be sadly disappointed.

If you go back to Church there are only 2 reasons to go - Him and you...Leave the rest of the crap outside the door...Better yet, take it to the altar and leave it with Him.

(((Hugs)))

[james217]

James ~

God will allow the things we have to go away so that we can focus on Him.

I am thrilled as I can be to see something I said "stick" with you...However...

I will have to let God work his magic and start going back to church and trying to see what happens.

He isn't Santa Claus and if you go with the mindset that you are going just because He is going to step in and save the day with His magic then my friend you will be sadly disappointed.

If you go back to Church there are only 2 reasons to go - Him and you...Leave the rest of the crap outside the door...Better yet, take it to the altar and leave it with Him.

(((Hugs)))

I mean in my life, my M, with the kids. Everything. there's nothing else I can do. I can't keep getting my hopes up to see the kids and it doesn't happen. Same with WAW. The only person I can depend on is me.