There's a difference between a phone call to protect or save a marriage, and a phone call to destroy a marriage
You and OM calling one another does damage to your marriage, ours is protecting a marriage.
Yup, I know your wife will likely say :
"Well your calls are destroying our marriage now"
That's GOOD... she's LEARNING.. That would be GREAT if she could come up with that one.
Why?
1. It shows she understands boundaries in marriage MUST be respected for the marriage to thrive 2. It implicitly suggests she WANTS to protect YOUR marriage... what do you think of that?
I don't know if she would reply that way, but it wouldn't be a bad thing if she did ... I would then reply with this :
Yes, you are right, marital boundaries need to be respected by both of us here for this to work... Right NOW the calls will continue. I had to tolerate them for months on end... My calls are protecting a marriage, even if they make you and OM uncomfortable... I DO get that they upset you. They WILL become less often over time and in a few months they will end completely... I DO understand they make you uncomfortable, and I don't like having to call either.. Do you think I ENJOY having to call another man's wife to find out that my wife is pursuing her husband? I don't. I can make these calls in front of you if that would make you feel better, but I am going to protect OMW marriage if I can. She needs reassurance from us that I don't konw if any calls and that you aren't calling her Husband.. it makes HER feel SAFE... SHE didn't deserve any of this... She is entitled to as much comfort as we are isn't she?
It will stop soon enough, but not yet... OMW and I are trying to protect two marriages here OK? Please try to understand that. It will end, I don't like having to call either. And no one else knows I am calling... Just you and those two.
